I think that when we meet someone we should introduce ourselves as well as our love languages. I took the Love Languages quiz while I was at Focus Leadership Institute almost five years ago. I found the book in a local coffee shop and read through the questions in the back and found my results. A few of my friends took it too. It was so incredible to watch our friendships grow when we knew each others love languages. It helped me know how to love each of them better.
My results surprised me, but did not seem to surprise anyone else. My # 1 result was physical touch. I recall laughing at myself in the coffee shop and looking through the description again. Here is what it says from (www.5lovelanguages.com):
A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Appropriate and timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love to you.
My dad gives the best hugs. I remember when I was little waiting for him to come home from work. We would rush downstairs when we heard his car pull up and charge him as he stepped through the door. Sometimes he would have time to drop his briefcase sometimes not. My dad's hugs are safe. I feel safe and believe everything can be alright. Even now that I have moved out and am 25 years old, when I want to feel safe I think of my dad's hugs. My brothers and sister can vouch for my touchy-ness in the way I have always yelled "cuddle time!" before jumping on top of them on the couch. I had to restrain this summer when my siblings worked for me (not very professional).
Now I do not know if I would be described, on a normal basis, as 'very touchy'. First, my job hinders that a bit. If I went up and hugged every group leader I am sure they would feel uncomfortable. While at camp the most physical contact I get is from my roommates cat.
It has become more hidden recently but that does not mean the need for a hug or pat on the back is not needed.
This may sound weird but let's see if I can make it make sense. Physical touch means a lot to me. I can be 'touchy feely' at times with some of my friends. I touch their arms while talking or sometimes nudge them if there is a joke. If I am reading something behind my best friend I sometimes put my head on her shoulder. I love hugs when seeing friends after a while and handshakes when you first meet someone. [Did you know you can tell a lot about a person by their handshake??] When I get excited and do not know how to express it in a manageable way I jump around everywhere. If you are close by I may hit/touch you in someway. Or if it is a huge thing I am known to hug spontaneously. But, it means a lot to me. If I do not know how someone will react to a hug I will not initiate. Because, you know, we have all been in a hug situation where you go in and they have no idea what they want and it ends up being an awkward side hug/handshake thing. So sometimes, as much as I want a hug, I will not step up and go for it unless I know the person is comfortable. When I was with Axis one of my friends who I traveled with loved physical touch too. I loved it! We would cuddle in the car while laughing about nothing. We would hug or lean on each other all the time. I miss that. She would talk about just randomly hugging people when she felt the need to. I wish I had that courage. Sometimes I want a hug but no one is around or I am not sure how to hug that person. So instead I settle for my roommates cat or trees. ;)
If you couldn't tell I love hugs! Hugs mean I care. Touching someone on the arm while talking to them means I am comfortable. High fives...can mean a lot of things. Do not get me wrong, if I do not hug you it does not mean I do not care! Most times it means I do not know how you will react, that I am too scared to try, or that I care too much and not sure where you stand. It could mean I am sick and do not want to get you sick either. But if you see me around randomly hugging trees feel free to pull me aside and give me a hug, I probably need one and am too scared to ask.
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