thankful for: growing

Recently a friend of mine, while traveling, stayed at my parents house and was able to bring back a few books for me when he returned. One of those books was my old diary. Now I journal, but I used to have a Hello Kitty diary growing up.

(believe me there is a difference!) I got it for my seventh birthday and used it all the way up through high school. My last entry is the day before I graduated. It was hard to keep up with when I was younger but I was determined to finish it!
The reason I asked for it back out in Colorado was because I wrote a bucket list in it and I wanted to see what I wanted to do with my life when I was 15 years old. I continued to read through it and felt embarrassed by some of the thing I wrote. I was quite dramatic as a teenager. At the moment whatever problem I was going through seemed to be the end of the world! Which for me in my little high school/middle school world...it was. I look back on those times now and laugh at myself. I seemed to write down every meticulous thing I ever did. One Saturday I spent "cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning"...thank you younger Kaitlin. That was fascinating! I realize things in life change and I have grown a lot since I was in high school.
Through the pages I can see myself in my room writing and being frustrated, hurt, mad or excited. I remember those moments that affected me so much and smile at some of my dramatic flair. I used to want to journal and one day show my daughter my old journals and let her read them and learn from them. Re-reading that diary made me realize I do not think I will do that anymore. At least not for that book. Those pages are coated with lost friendships, broken dreams, fights with parents, school woes and crushes that came and went. Although I went to church growing up I never knew how to live out the Christian life. I never knew what that looked like. So, that is what I am thankful for. I am thankful for that book. I am thankful for those memories, although painful at the time brought me here. I am thankful for how much I have grown since high school. There are times I wish I could go back. Ever have that feeling? I wish I could go back to middle school where the most pressing thing were report cards and if you still have friends. Life was smaller then. I still struggle with friendships but luckily no more report cards. :)
God still was able to see me where I am today when I was only a teenager. I am so glad he was willing to put up with all of that to bring me here. I bet the journal I am writing in now I will find 10 years from now and look back and laugh at myself. I will remember what I am going through and smile and thank God to where He has brought me since now. I hope I can look back. I want to know I am continually growing, even when it is painful and I have no idea what is next.
I learned a lot from my old diary. I even got to cross off three things off my bucket list!