I sometimes wish I could just get a manual. Titled "Instructions to your life"or something along those lines. To read and be somewhat prepared for what is going to happen. But there is not, but there is that cliche phrase "No one said life was going to be easy." People always say that when things are really rough. Those are great words of wisdom...especially when you are down on yourself.
Yeah...not really.
This might be more of a venting post. Tonight I was on my computer and came across some old memories from about a year and a half ago. Memories that made my heart start to ache. You know the feeling....and knowing I most likely would not be able to sleep for a while I took out my journal and started to write and then took out some old pics and was just venting. I think it would have been humorous if someone would have walked in on me. I was just sitting on the ground kind of venting at these pictures and talking to God and letting out my frustrations (at a low level because my whole family was/and still is sleeping) Side note: usually to vent I blast my music real loud or go run but as it is after midnight neither seem appropriate. So instead I journal and talk to pictures haha which does not seem sane.
Anyways (after my vent sesh)....I was reminded of God's arms. And how much He wants to be that strength when we have none. He wants to heal our broken hearts and make them whole again. He wants to hold us tight while we cry and give us the peace to move on. In my devo's the other day it said this, "the path to peace is paved with knee-prints. Bend your knee to the trustworthy authority of Christ." Peace comes with trust in His power. As much as my heart still aches right now, I am starting to feel that peace. I also know it will take time and daily surrender. So I guess I will end with one of my favorite songs:
Moving Forward by Israel Houghton
"I'm not going back, I'm moving ahead
Here to declare to You my past is over
in You all things are made new, surrendered my life to Christ
I'm moving, moving forward"
[emphasis added]
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