With my best friend we packed up and headed to the Grand Canyon this fall to explore. My car was still stereo-less so we used her ipod and my cup holder to amplify the sound. We were packed with snacks and a great road map (she does not believe in GPS) and drove all night. We spent a lot of our trip laughing and telling stories as well as finding out just how comfortable the back of my jeep is to sleep in. (Note: pretty comfortable) I love traveling with people! Our road trips with Axis were always filled with great discussions, lots of naps and awesome dance parties.
This last road trip I took by myself. I drove to Kansas for a mini vacation. Just kidding...I went to speak at a college about summer staff opportunities. Why Kansas you may ask? Well the college there is close with our camp and it was fun to see some familiar faces. I drove out in a day while alternating between calling friends to catch up and listening to a book on tape to keep my focus. I stayed in this small town that had one stop light. I have heard of these towns before but never experienced one. It was so small and everyone I met was very friendly. This town is known for their big well. Unfortunately, I did not have a chance to check it out but I saw signs for it everywhere.
I spent a day at the school talking with students and eating lunch. Then I got to go to their chapel and talk about camp. I handed out a few applications and networked with some local youth pastors. It was a good trip! I stayed at a local hotel and the cook there made sure I did not go hungry before I headed out. He handed me snack after snack until I couldn't carry anymore. He was so thoughtful and I really liked talking to him during breakfast both mornings I was there.
There is so much you learn when you just take steps outside your typical routine. This was all new for me. Getting a hotel room for myself and planning the whole trip. The adventure was fun! I liked getting away, even though it was Kansas, and I want to say I am sorry to that little town I stayed in. I apologize, Greensburg. I came to you hurting and broken and I left that part of me there. I left a girl who was bitter, hurting, insecure and angry in that hotel room and I am not going back to get her. I am sorry you have to deal with her now but I can't anymore.
It was when I sat down to do some finishing touches on my slideshow when I felt a nudging on my heart. You have been holding on too long. It is time to let go. I prayed all day and came back after working and realized that there was so much holding me back and hurting my heart and I did not want that anymore.
Francis Chan talks about holding onto things that hurt us. Christ calls us to let go and walk away from certain things and we try to hold on because we think we know better or we think it's what we want. When in reality, the things He is asking us to let go of are things that are going to hurt us in the long run. Christ says in the gospels that anyone who tries to save their life will end up losing it, but anyone who is willing to lose their life for Christ's sake will end up finding it. We try so hard to hold onto these things that we think will bring us pleasure and fulfillment but they won't. But when we surrender and trust God to handle it, that is when we find our life. When it is based on Christ.
As I drove off from that tiny town I said goodbye to the people I left behind. I waved and smiled as the sun rose behind me knowing I did not want to see them again, knowing that this drive was bringing me closer to God and my own act of surrender.
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