Just be yourself!

A new year and a new start with Axis! I have been back in Colorado for the past, almost three weeks now. My team has been in the office working hard and re-vamping some of our new family presentation and reading lots of books. Of course adventures are always in my schedule and we have had fun hiking, paddle boarding, climbing, and just hanging out as a team! The guys on my team are so fun to hang out with! We have been able to cook meals together, go horseback riding, and just hang out a lot the past few weeks. 

This is my team on the top of pulpit rock in Colorado! (left to right: Colin, Taylor and Hayley and me)

It has been an interesting transition coming into Axis after being at camp all summer. The new interns have been here since July and they have had six weeks of training and spending a lot of time together. When Hayley and I came back after the summer we realized we missed out on a lot. With the other two teams on the road it has given a chance for our team to get to know one another which has been great! I love the other interns too! And when we are all in town we have a great time together! 

Driving around the other day our new team director, Colin, Hayley and I we were talking about personalities. (We were able to go to Focus Leadership Institute the day before to hear from one of my old professors about strengths). Colin mentioned something about my personality and I remember saying something about how that is not close to how excited I can get. (many of you have most likely seen me really really excited about something) He asked why I don't do that. I said I don't know and he  said, "just be yourself." (I think I wrote a post on this last semester too.) It has been something I have been struggling with lately. I don't know why but I am finding it hard to be myself. It doesn't make sense really if you think about it. How can it be hard to be yourself?? Part of me is trying to find a role in my new group of friends and I guess my 'usual role' is taken. So a part of me feels lost and that is when I hide. So I hide myself from others. 

We got to see Del Tackett speak at FLI on Saturday and he mentioned something that stuck with me. He said that culture has trained us so well to wear a mask in order to please the others around us. But God exposes us. Being in God's presence exposes parts of us that we don't want others to see. We fit in roles we make up for ourselves that don't make sense. We try to hide who God created us to be. That's kinda rude if you think about it. Imagine you work so hard to make a gift for someone to use and they get it and don't use but hide it. I would feel really hurt. I think that is the same way with God. He made each one of us special and different and gives us gifts and talents that we hide. I know I do sometimes. 

As weird as the problem is...I need to start just being myself and being comfortable instead of hiding behind masks and trying to fit inside roles and boxes I create for myself. Get ready team!