Since coming back many of my friends, family and Axis staff have been asking me how it went, how did I do and what was my favorite part. For some reason I have been finding it hard to pinpoint how to exactly answer them. I guess I can narrow it down to three words:
It. Was. Hard.
I did not expect my response to be that after my first trip. Do not get my wrong I am really enjoying what I am getting to do! But I think God has a different plan for this semester that I am going to spend with Axis. Our first event was really exciting. I got a chance to meet some students and I was speaking which was fun but challenging. On our last day of speaking we did our presentation on doubt. While doing this presentation I was experiencing my own doubts and by the end I was beating myself up over my skills and abilities. I started to doubt why I was there and what I was doing. It was hard. He started to show me a lot of things I need to work on and things I need to come to terms with about myself. Some of it had to do with insecurities that I have. I realized many of my insecurities while at FLI two years ago but with learning so many other things I was under some strange idea that because I was aware of them I was conquering them. Which was, obviously, not the case at all.
My team is doing something awesome! When we are on the road we started having morning devotions. We spend our mornings together in prayer and in the Word together. It has been amazing! We also spend one day a week in sabbath and take communion together on that day. On our last sabbath I spent much needed time praying and journaling. I like writing my prayers down in journal form. As you may know, I am an external processor, and writing things down helps me see if ideas even make sense. So while journaling about all these things that God was revealing to me and scaring me I realized I was letting those doubts and insecurities fester.
What makes it a bit ironic is that in our presentation of doubt I talk about how we can't let our doubts fester because they can eat away at our faith. I experienced this my sophomore year of college. While journaling I heard the words, "time to walk on water, Kaitlin." I know I struggle. I know that I have a long way to go and it's going to be hard.
For the past three years I have had the reoccurring theme in my life of 'walking on water'. I love the story on Matthew of Peter walking on water and Britt Nicole has a song titled that. (of course) I have had so many instances where God is just pushing me out of my comfort zone. Deciding not to play field hockey, going to FLI and moving to CO. In this instance He was telling me the same thing. I need to break down those walls and just take that step and no matter what happens it's my time to walk on water.
I am excited for this journey!! He is already teaching me I cannot wait to see what else He has planned. I am learning to trust Him with my abilities and my support raising. Here are some pictures of my trip to California :)
TeamPatrick with some of the students in our last venue.
Please prayerfully consider supporting me. You can click the button on the top right of the page :) Thank you so much!
My team is doing something awesome! When we are on the road we started having morning devotions. We spend our mornings together in prayer and in the Word together. It has been amazing! We also spend one day a week in sabbath and take communion together on that day. On our last sabbath I spent much needed time praying and journaling. I like writing my prayers down in journal form. As you may know, I am an external processor, and writing things down helps me see if ideas even make sense. So while journaling about all these things that God was revealing to me and scaring me I realized I was letting those doubts and insecurities fester.
What makes it a bit ironic is that in our presentation of doubt I talk about how we can't let our doubts fester because they can eat away at our faith. I experienced this my sophomore year of college. While journaling I heard the words, "time to walk on water, Kaitlin." I know I struggle. I know that I have a long way to go and it's going to be hard.
For the past three years I have had the reoccurring theme in my life of 'walking on water'. I love the story on Matthew of Peter walking on water and Britt Nicole has a song titled that. (of course) I have had so many instances where God is just pushing me out of my comfort zone. Deciding not to play field hockey, going to FLI and moving to CO. In this instance He was telling me the same thing. I need to break down those walls and just take that step and no matter what happens it's my time to walk on water.
I am excited for this journey!! He is already teaching me I cannot wait to see what else He has planned. I am learning to trust Him with my abilities and my support raising. Here are some pictures of my trip to California :)
crossing the Golden Gate Bridge with San Fran in the distance
Hayley and I with our first in-n-out experience :)
Please prayerfully consider supporting me. You can click the button on the top right of the page :) Thank you so much!
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