Valentine's Day

I have never had an opinion of Valentine's Day. Growing up it was an excuse to eat as much candy as you wanted. It also involved picking out the coolest valentines day cards for the kids in your class and then later hoarding the candy in your room so you could hide it from your siblings....and maybe your mom. 

As I have gotten older it has changed. It is still a day of love but as I got into college it was a day my single friends seemed to desperately wish they were in a relationship. Beneath the "lets get all dressed up and go bowling then eat ice cream til 2 am" was a bitterness of being single during this day. 

I have never been in a relationship over Valentine's Day. So you could say I have never really had "a Valentine" before. I am ok with that because I have found other ways to pour love out. I think deep down I am secretly a romantic. Although in a candlelight dinner surrounded by roses while being read poetry type setting, I would not know how to react and most likely stutter (and blush) a lot! I have never been that type of person. I have had some incredible Valentine's days without having a boyfriend. 

what I learned from: hiking by myself

I don't think I can ever get sick of Colorado. No, it does not have the beach but there are always new trails to hike and things to explore! I love the feeling you get after hiking a rough trail and finally reach the top. The exhaustion that your body feels slowly slips away as you take in the view around you. Anywhere you hike in Colorado the views are incredible!

There is one peak in Colorado Springs called Blodgett. I have hiked it three times and still have yet to make it to the top! The first time we made it to a ridge right underneath the peak and sat down for a minute before we had to head back down to make it back in time for an event. The second time we made it to the trail head and decided to turn around because of the thunder and lightening. This last time I hiked it by myself and I made it almost to the top and a snow storm rolled in and I could not see very well. So I decided to turn around. One day I will conquer Blodgett! But, I am waiting for spring, less snow, friends, and my foot to heal. While hiking I had a lot of time to think and here are some life lessons I learned while hiking by myself.

"Be Still"

Every season in life brings something new. This season has been full of changes. To be honest, I like to think I understand God sometimes. Something happens in a way that seems right. Then when I think I have it all figured out He switches it up on me.

I read an article on Boundless.org a few years ago. The writer decided, at the beginning of the year, to find a word that she wanted to define that upcoming year. It was a really good article and when I read it years ago I wanted to come up with a word as well. Well, this year I finally did. Last year my word was love. I learned a lot about it and I was sure I knew what word I wanted 2015 to be about. God, had other plans.

Beloved, that is what I was planning on having 2015 be about. God has been showing me a lot recently what that looks like. I sat in my friends apartment and there was a moment of silence. There was worship music playing quietly in the background and the 7 of us were scattered around praying, reading and writing. We had already caught up from Christmas break and instead of digging into the book we have been reading through there was a change of pace. Instead, there was time for prayer and reflection. This was a time for silence and for God to speak into our lives as we entered the new year. I am not good with being still. I like to relax every once in a while but it usually involves being with people and doing an activity or watching something. As I sat down and settled my heart I knew God wanted to talk to me. I felt him pushing me to open my Bible to the book of Kings. I remember this story because we talked about it in our Axis presentation. I always loved how my friend told the story and I heard his voice in my head as I started to read through it then.

The story is found in 1 Kings 18. Elijah is put to the test and asked to prove God's existence. He sets up two alters and goes up against the prophets of Baal. The prophets of Baal start to pray to their god to light their alter and nothing happens. Elijah starts to mock them asking if he is sleeping or perhaps busy or traveling. Nothing happens and it is Elijah's turn. He pours water on his alter (for good measure) and starts to pray to the God of Israel. God lights the alter and proves He is the one true God. Elijah then kills all the Baal prophets. Jezebel, who was not a fan of this, tells her peeps to kill Elijah and Elijah becomes scared for his life and runs away. He is exhausted having just killed a ton of prophets and running for his life and falls asleep under a bush. An angel of the Lord appears to him and wakes him and tells him to eat. After he eats he tells him to sleep. Then he wakes Elijah and gives him food and tells him to go back to sleep. After all of that he is told to rest for the journey ahead.

I felt God telling me that I am now in a season of rest. I have been running for a few years now and now that I am finally settling in I find the need to start running again. This is my season to be still. That is something that does not come easily or naturally to me and since learning that is what I need to do I have been busier than ever! There are so many passages where God speaks and works in the stillness. I always love the parts in the New Testament where Christ goes away and prays to his Father. He gets away from the crowds and from what he is doing and finds time to be still.

I find peace in the stillness but then I get alone with my thoughts and I get scared. So I grab the nearest book or turn on a movie or do anything else. No only do I need to practice stillness I think my heart needs to learn the discipline too. This year will be interesting and I am jumping into the idea of learning a lot in the stillness.

Maybe I will start tonight...as I sit on the couch typing I know even writing this is still running. The house gets quieter as the minutes tick by and I have finally stopped hearing my roommates dog's paws above me. God meets us in the stillness. He meets us in the craziness and chaos too but I think there is a certain skill in being still when the world around us tells us to keep going. So that is what I am going to spend this next year trying to figure out.

What is your word?