makin my daddy proud

I am now a full time working woman. That sounds really weird to say. I am working at the camp I worked at this summer. A position opened up so I am now maintenance assistant. Its hard work but I have learned a lot so far. I have learned to drive stick (with steering on the right side), to split wood, tricks to painting, and a bunch of other stuff with working with tools and fixing things around camp. I am also learning that there is always something to do and always something to fix. It can be quite tiring every day. And although it's not what I want to do and it can be hard at times, I am learning a lot and I will be able to say one day, "I worked as a maintenance assistant at a camp. I didn't like it but I stuck with it and learned a lot." So I am reminding myself of that.
Other things that make it hard is the fact I am just on camp all the time. I am far from my friends and don't get to see them much. And me as an extrovert working a lot by myself is tough. I was talking to my dad on the phone last week and he was telling me a story about when I was little.
 "You used to be so shy and get anxious whenever you were without us. And now you are out in Colorado shooting guns and on your own. " It made me smile when he started to laugh to himself and I could just feel how proud he is of me...coming out here and working hard even though it's not what I want to do. But knowing my dad is proud of me makes it a bit easier.
Another reason my dad is great...I was skyping my family today (which was so great to see them!) and my mom and sister are talking to me and my dad is in the background dancing and making weird faces at me. No matter the situation he can always make me laugh and I hope I can continue to work hard and make him proud of me.

Why do you believe?

The other night I had a conversation with a friend about faith. He was telling me he was starting to doubt and he wasn't sure if God was there for him. He then followed that with, "Why do you believe?" 
Here is how I responded: 

because He has shown me himself in so many ways that make no sense, like through my first relationship he carried me the whole way through.
coming out here to FLI...was just amazing. He showed me my strengths and where He wants me and what passions He has given me.
In the little things with the friends and family he has blessed me with.
In just looking back to where my storms were and seeing that He was there the entire time even when I felt nothing

there are times I wonder where He is and why I am going through something, like now, but even in this time of doubt I have to remember all the times He brought me through before and know He is going to do it again

That is why I believe

After responding...I just felt this wash of peace and happiness surround me. I have no idea where I am going next. There are times I feel so incredibly alone but it is in those moments when I am not. He has been there through it all and He will continue to do that. And He will do that because, it's so simple, He loves me. After my reason why I believe, my friend asked, "then why doubt?" Excellent question! I have no idea why I doubt...because I am human and I give into my insecurities of not being able to do it on my own. But the truth is I don't have to. My all time favorite artist is Britt Nicole. Her songs just speak so much truth into my life and I can relate to pretty much all of them in some way. I sent these lyrics to a friend the other day. It's from the song 'Straight for your heart.' 

He has made some big promises for us and He will never let us down.

You don’t have to walk this road alone
I’ll hold you, hold you
You don’t have to live this life alone
I know you, know you

Hidden in the tunnel
I’ll be there
Even when you can’t fly
I’ll be there

Westward bound...

So I meant to post this a while ago! It has been a crazy month out here...so this is really delayed BUT here ya go...a video of my trip out west. I will try and be more proactive about posting from here on out.