Never too old for a snowball fight!

Well another Axis semester done. We finished up work this week and I am flying back home tomorrow afternoon for Christmas. I am excited to see my family! (and hopefully not eat too many cookies) Almost everyone from Axis is home or heading home in the next day or so. It's bittersweet in a sense because there are a few people that are not coming back next semester. One of the full time staff got an amazing new job in TN and another intern was only doing one semester and is going to spend the next few months shredding up the mountains of Colorado. I love how we have become a family. We work together, cook together, live together, and just do life together and it is awesome. God really has blessed me with some amazing co-workers and friends!
Last week in downtown Colorado Springs they did a downtown stroll where a bunch of the shops downtown had lights up and food samples and a few of us walked around and had a ton of fun! We also found a little set up with dance moves mapped out on the ground and I learned the fox trot! The sign said "Dance like no one is watching!" And we did just that! With snow covering the ground we slipped and slid all over! People walked by and smiled at us but we kept dancing and we even met a guy named Timothy and got him to dance with us too!

photo curtesy of Hayley ;)

We walked around a bit more and one of my friends and I wanted to run across the snow covered park through the center of town. So we took off trying not to slip and laughing the whole time. Oh, did I mention the temperature was in the single digits?!? Yeah, it was pretty chilly out. We ended up having a EPIC snowball fight! We called it the 76th Hunger Games. Hayley was Finnick, Alisa was Joanna and I was Katniss vs the guys, Sam and Colin, and they were the careers. Of course we won! (Although they may tell you otherwise)  

I have mentioned in previous blogs I have talked about how I have struggled this semester with being myself. I was having a tough week and that night just running across a park, laughing, sliding (I had a pretty epic fall) and freezing while throwing snow at friends was something I needed. The way things work out sometimes makes me smile. I was talking to one of my friends the other night and he was telling me how God had just answered a few of his prayers in ways he didn't expect. That's how is works I think. God likes to surprise us in the smallest ways. Either by a clear day to view his amazing creation in the mountains here in Colorado, random encouraging words from your boss, good conversations with friends til 2:30 am, and even through snow ball fights. It's easy not to see God working in my life because sometimes...I know I get distracted. But when I can step back and just laugh and dance I can see God working through everything around me and it makes me....speechless. So, I dare you, go dance, run, or throw snow like no one is watching! I promise it will be worth it. :)

Axis Banquet

With pretty lows temperature the past week or so about 150 people braved the cold and were able to make it out to our banquet! It was so much fun and Axis broke a personal record with having 13 people speak during one presentation! It was a BLAST being able to present with all the full time staff and all the other interns. We were all dressed up and looked quite spiffy ;)
Check out this short promo of the banquet! I am not in it presenting but you get to see many of the beautiful faces of Axis!!
http://vimeo.com/81542115

Do you want to dance?

Happy December! I love Christmas time! Between celebrating Jesus, the music, good food, snow, traditions, family, festivities, and lights there is just so much to look forward to! I absolutely love Christmas lights. I feel like it makes everything look magical! I worked up at camp this past week before Thanksgiving and I was able to cut down a tree before I came back down to the springs. My team made me wait until they got back from their Thanksgivings with family to decorate it so I waited, very impatiently, with a very naked Christmas tree in our basement. We finally got a chance to decorate it the other night. It was so much fun! 

We had ornaments and music playing while we decorated. Colin was in the corner stringing popcorn and the others were decorating ornaments and the tree. As soon as we turned on music one of the guys from Axis, Sam, started dancing. Sam is a great dancer and he was having a lot of fun twirling around our basement. He started teaching Hayley and I some dance moves. Which included a bit of swing dancing, waltzing, and the cha-cha.
I have never danced like that before. The only dance experience I have is a hip-hop class I took one summer, the cupid shuffle and wii Just Dance (which I am pretty good at ;]) It was fun learning the steps and trying to navigate in my slippers around the basement while trying not to step on Sam's feet. I never new there was so much technique when it came to dancing. The guys kept telling me to stop looking at my feet, because I kept tripping, and Sam was teaching me how to hold up a good frame with my arms. He was telling me that with my hands I need to push a bit back on his so he is able to lead me easier. Colin was giving tips from the side talking about how dancing is harder for the girl because she has more complicated steps and all the guy has to do is lead her. It was hard trying to remember the steps, let Sam lead me, and not trip as he would randomly spin me around the room.
I had to focus on putting pressure in his hand as he led me. It made me think of something. I have been hurt by people before, whether its through relationships or friendships, and it's hard letting myself open up and letting my feelings known so I am very guarded. Guarded so much that I never open up and I struggle with letting people know how much I care about them even after they make theirs feelings known. I learned that for relationships it is a give and take and you cannot just take and not return feelings. I have been struggling with this lately. Both giving too much and, in some relationships, not getting anything back and also not giving anything for fear of rejection.
So in something as simple as learning how to waltz with one of my friends, I learned a lesson as well. The same thing is with God. He is mighty and powerful and He can do all things. There are times in my life He takes over and there are times where I know He wants me to do something. Like dancing, one person has to lead. If I were to try and lead Sam while he was trying to lead me....it would be a mess. (especially since I had no idea what I was doing!) In life God is the one leading me through everything. There are times, a lot sometimes, that I try and lead as well and that is when life gets messy. I know I need to step back and let Him lead but sometimes I do not know what is going to happen and it's scary.
So I guess you can say life is a dance and you just need to let God lead through all the dips and spins and just enjoy the dance. 'Cause...come on who does not want the best dancer to lead them through life?!

Thank you for: sports

I have grown up playing sports for as long as I can remember. I don't think I remember a time where my mom was not driving us around in our white Dodge caravan between practices. My coaches referred to it as the 'McGann clan van' and it was known for the variety of magnets decorating the back of the van representing all the sports my siblings and I played.
I remember days where I was dreading practice because we lost the day before. I remember coaches yelling and joking around with us. I remember running into a field hockey cage post just to tip the ball into the cage with the entire high school boys soccer team watching me. (kinda embarrassing) I remember running for hours in the rain and frost. I remember dreading 6 am practices in college. But I remember the bus rides, the partner drills, the inside jokes and the relationships I made while being a part of a team.
I have learned through sports:
how to be a team player.
how a team works, that if one person is struggling it brings the whole team down.
how it is so important to work as a unit on the field and to do the best to work together off the field.
how to be a leader.
how to build your team up and always have each others back.
how to push through when things are getting hard.
how to respect my coaches and other players (even when I don't always agree)
how I am stronger than I think.
how every person of a team is so important.

There are tons of things I have learned from being an athlete. I miss the nerves right before the whistle blows in the beginning of a game. I miss the adrenaline rush when you score or win a tough game. I miss the feeling of leaving it ALL on the field and knowing you did your best. I miss seeing the talents and abilities God made my body able to do as I push it. I miss the soreness and battle scars. I miss the friends I have made through the years. I am extremely thankful for the ability to play sports for a majority of my life and how that has shaped me so much today. It's sometimes hard to understand what it is like to be an athlete unless you are one. I am thankful for the struggles and the blood, sweat, and tears through all the years. So, don't let the field hockey skirt fool you....I can handle myself on a field :)

Thank you for: silence

It has been snowing the past few days at camp and it is beautiful! Yesterday evening I was helping feed the horses before heading down to dinner and as we were letting them out for the night it started to snow. It was so peaceful and....quiet. Snow seems to do that. It put a blanket of silence over camp. As I watched the horses eat their hay I felt the silence surround me but not in a bad way. It seemed to wrap me in its blanket to keep me warm. 
We are constantly surrounded by sound. It is hard to find silence and sometimes when it corners us we run from it. I have run from the silence the past few weeks. How I run is through distractions by television, internet, books,  movies, music, work, people or anything else that keeps my mind busy. Silence means thinking and there are times I am scared of my thoughts or afraid of what God is trying to tell me through the silence. So, yes, lately I have been running from God. I think it is because He is trying to teach me something to help me grow but in the process I know it is going to be painful...so I run.

As the silence engulfed me yesterday, I felt a sense of peace. Yes, I am scared of silence and scared of the unknown but through it all I know God has been there for me through it all. Things change, people change and there is nothing you can do to stop it. Hayley sent this quote to me the other morning:
 "The steps of the believer are steeped in constant change. Fingers are painfully peeled away from the security of sameness, one at a time, again and again. Great wisdom lies in freeing our fellow sojourners....cherished though they are. With hands freshly loosened, we find liberty to embrace the One who will never change and courage to release to Him those who ever will."~ Beth Moore
Through the silence God speaks to me, so although I run and hide I am thankful for the silence reminding me that although I am scared and change is going to happen...God will never change or leave. 

Thank you for: the ability to work

I know that's weird title. But I really am thankful for the ability to work. When I hurt my back this summer that put me out for a while. I still try not to do some extreme heavy lifting, but having that to think about really makes me grateful of the things I can physically do. 
I've had some amazing jobs in my life. Some harder than others. But each has taught me something special. I have always loved working physical labor and I actually have kind of missed it recently. This past week I have been able to come up to camp and work and it has been a lot of fun. I have missed shoveling snow, chopping wood, feeding horses, cleaning, and even got to do some landscaping. I love working with my hands and creating things. 

I love my job with Axis, being able to travel and speak to students and parents. I love seeing what God is doing in the lives of students and families. He created us to work and cultivate. I must admit, there are mornings I do not want to get out of bed to work but seeing how much I have learned through working, it is amazing! 

I also am a strong advocate for having fun while working. This morning we got to make snow angels while shoveling the walks around camp. One of my bosses out here always makes fun of me for having fun while working, he always says work is not supposed to be fun. But I think I have a strength in making mundane things really fun. For example yesterday we were cleaning trash cans around camp and I made it a challenge by getting into one of the laundry carts and pushing myself around picking up the trash cans. At one of the pools I worked at we made a gondola out of a plastic tub and I made myself a mustache and attempted to float around the pool while listening to Italian music. I love having fun while working and I believe God created work to be fun at times. So as weird as it is to say I love working, I am really glad God gave us the ability to work because without it I would be pretty bored. 

Thank you for: my family

"McGann clan: annoying our cousins since 1952" was the logo on our family reunion shirts this past summer. I feel like that describes my family so well! My team was able to spend one time off on this past trip with my family and it was really cool to have my family meet my team and vice versa. My family is pretty awesome! I was able to skype with them the other day and it was so good to see them! I am so thankful of the time I was able to have with two of my siblings this past summer working at camp together. I think all four of us have gotten closer in the past few years. It is sad that I only see them about two or three times a year but I love the time I get.
I am on my own now and although I live across the country my parents are only ever a phone call away if I ever need anything. They have taught me so much and I know I would not be where I am today without them. I am so thankful for my family and the awesome times we have together. I miss my mom's cooking all the time now that I have to cook for myself and I have been dreaming about her mash potatoes for weeks! :) I cannot wait to see them all for Christmas!