as I grow up...

With camp over I got the chance to go home and surprise my mom :) (note*: if the last post was confusing it was because I had to cover my mom knowing I was coming home) It was a great surprise! I walked in and she laughed and started to cry. It was so good to see her and be home for a week. I got a chance to see friends and family and go to the beach!! I also got a chance to go to my family reunion. It was so great to see my extended family while I was home too!

As much as I wanted to relax when I was home I had so much fun catching up with friends. I realized something when I was home. I love going home. I love seeing my family and hanging out. It seems that  no matter how much I change and grow...home is still home. I guess I can say that in good ways home never changes for me but sometimes I feel like I am who I was before I grew up. It's a strange feeling. As I grow up I see how much God has shaped my since high school. When I catch up with old friends it's sometimes like I never left. I guess growing up is finding who you are and bringing that home with you.
But now I am back in Colorado first week back at Axis under my belt! Lots of reading and rehearsing left to do. We will be hitting the road in a little less than a month. My team is AWESOME! It makes me so excited for this next year of traveling. Well that is it for my ramblings today. Tune in soon for more thoughts from Kaitlin :)

it's the end of the summer as we know it

Camp is over. We packed up our cars and headed out. It was really sad to leave. This summer staff was a great staff and I know I am going to miss every single person. It was hard to say goodbye to all the friends we made this summer and go back to our respected places all over the country. It's also hard knowing that these friends I made I may never see or talk to again. Life comes and it gets busy.
I must admit that in the beginning of the summer I was prepared to leave after a week. (I guess that's what traveling for a job does to you) But I was scared to settle and make friends because I knew that we would just leave soon. Needless to say, I grew close to my co-workers and it made my heart hurt to leave. I have never been good at goodbyes. I guess I get too attached.

It was also sad to see my boss and his wife leaving after this summer. They got an amazing opportunity in Oregon working with YFC. I know they are going to do AMAZING and God is going to use them to speak love into those students lives. It is hard to watch them leave. They have made camp home for me the past two summers and last fall. As excited as I am for them I know camp will not be the same without them. And who knows maybe a year from now I will be talking about going to Oregon as well.  A few of my friends have been thinking about it lately. Who knows what God has planned. :)
But for now I drove up with my brother and sister to the airport this morning. I know they are going to miss Colorado. I am excited they have fallen in love with it too. (It's kinda hard not to!!) My sister was taking pictures the entire way up to remember the mountains. I am going to miss them terribly. It was so much fun to have them out here this summer. I got to watch Sean be amazingly hilarious at camp and see how much everyone loves him. I got to see Erin come out of her shell and be pursued by a incredible young man at camp and now they are dating. :) It breaks my heart to see how sad she is that she is going back home. I know the feeling. But I hope they can make it work.
So it is another summer gone and Axis starts up again soon. I am excited to get on the road but sad to leave my QRC family. I am sorry it is not a deeper post but I will be back soon to recap a bit on the summer. But until then...soak up the sunshine! I plan on attempting to get my stomach not blinding white and relaxing my back this week. Yay!

Taking my breath away

Camp is about to wrap up. We only have about three more groups left! Let me catch you us on stuff going on. My brother and sister are out here working :) I got a chance to pick them up from the airport and it has been so GREAT to have them here. I wish my other brother could have made it as well. But I love having them here.

I have mentioned before that we are going through Love Does and how awesome the staff has been this year. Last night was just another example. We had dinner down at the barn with the campers and some of the staff, including me, were sitting on the hitching posts for the horses hanging off them. One of the staff did a flip all the way around backwards and I decided to try it to. Mistake. I got around but didn't quite make it and fell hard on my back. I have not had the wind knocked out of me that hard since I was about 8 years old on the bumper cars at the board walk. It was very painful. Needless to say it took a while for me to be able to breathe, talk and then move.  

this is what it looked like....

The staff crowded around to make sure I was ok and one of the girls put here knees up behind me to hold me up while I attempted to relax and catch my breath. That support was so great! They all walked me back to the nurse and stayed with me until they knew it was ok. I had a car ready to take me to urgent care if needed and prayer was said over my back as soon as it happened.

It always humbles me to see how much people care for me. These people I just met a few months ago. And they are willing to drop everything to take me to urgent care if I need to go. (which I didn't, don't freak out mommy) I have always been stubborn especially when it comes to being hurt or sick. I try to act all tough and strong but sometimes I can't. Seeing my brother and sister's faces when I could not move, and the worry they had scared me. I have always been the big sister. I have always wanted to be strong for them and never to have them worry about me. Last night reminded me that I can be taken care of too. As much as I want to be strong...sometimes I just can't. 
I know I have written posts about strength before and I am seeing how God is using these lessons to show me, time and time again, that it is ok to be weak to rely on others. Because at times we cannot do it on our own. We have to use the people around us and that is why He puts those people in our lives. If we were meant to be alone we would be but we were meant for relationship and community and that is what our hearts yearn for. 
My back is doing better and I am grateful for the chance to relax today and grateful that I am not stubborn enough to listen to the voice of reason surrounding me telling me to rest instead of proving to myself I am ok. Gotta hate that :)

what do words even mean?

It is officially summer! We have 5 more weeks of camp and it is so weird! Young life was here for a month and they left on Sunday. It was sad to see them all leave. I really loved having the summer staff here this year. They were so much fun to be around. It feels like summer is just starting now and it's already halfway over. I must say it is bittersweet. The staff this summer has been phenomenal. We have gotten pretty close and it is a fun group of people!
As a staff we are going through the book Love Does by Bob Goff. (I mentioned this in the previous post) We have been having amazing discussions each week with the chapters. We read a chapter about words and how important words are to people. He told a story about how when he was growing up he was on a baseball team and was awful. One game he hit a home run and hit coach sent him a card at the end of the season saying how it was a great hit and he was a real ball player. Those words, he said, stuck with him.
I am learning more and more that I am like Peter in many ways. I have strongly identified with the story where Jesus calls him to walk on water and step out. Jesus called him "the rock" (no not like dwayne johnson) when Jesus knew Peter was going to deny him. Maybe, he was calling something out of Peter when he did that. I know for me if someone genuinely encourages me it makes me believe it, if only for a bit.
I can remember nice things that people have told me. I also remember the negative things. Sometimes the negative I remember even more. Its strange how much words can shape our lives. I also think that the words we say to ourselves are just as powerful. The things we tell ourselves over and over again become things that we believe. In the back of my head all mu life I have heard the words,"you are not good enough." After hearing it for so long...I started to believe it. Those words shaped how I viewed everything. t has been in the past few years I have been blessed with friends who have spoken encouragement into those lies and have helped me see that I am good enough. God speaks truth through His Word and through people around us. A simple, "God is going to do great things in your life." (by someone I really admire) has shaped how I feel about my future.
A simple encouraging word can shape a persons life forever. Who are you going to encourage today??

just do it

First week of campers here at camp this week. It's been a pretty hectic time! But all in all it has been good to finally get in the swing of things. The summer staff this year is pretty awesome I must say. Although, I am missing a few from last year. We, as a staff, are going through the book Love Does by Bob Goff. I highly recommend it!
Each chapter is a different story from his life with an amazing twist to it. One of the first chapters we read he talked about how love just does. (hence the title of the book) Love is an action, love is a verb. (cue in dc talk song here....) But sometimes in order to life a life of love we need to just do. In the introduction Donald Miller, who writes it, gives a really good picture of what Bob is going to portray in the rest of the book.
"...love does things. It writes a letter and gets on a plane. It orders pizza and jumps in a lake. It hugs and prays and cries and sings."
I love that! How many times have we just not done something because it scares us or it seems to crazy or to big or outside of ourselves?? Well, each chapter of this book tells a story of stepping outside of that and taking action and letting love do things. Loving is scary! Doing something for someone else with no motive...who does that anymore?!? Each story that we have read so far Bob is doing things. The first step is to just do it. To step out of that typical-ness or normal and comfortable and live a life of love. And not just live it but to live it in a way that it becomes a part of who we are.
We were all going out to do something one night and one of the summer staff wanted to sleep, so one of the girls turned to him and said, "When you are old and you look back on your life are you going to say, 'oh man, I really regret that time I didn't get enough sleep.'? No!" I liked that. I know there are times I wish I did more, I wish I helped out a certain person, got to know a classmate or co-worker better, or really took time to share my faith with someone else. So what is the answer to all that.... don't sit around and wish you did...just do it!

new adventure ahead

Hello! I am currently back at camp working. We have a group of women up here this weekend and the summer staff heads up next week and then we start summer! It snowed up here about 10 inches yesterday. I was not prepared for that. When I packed for the summer I did not think I would need my winter clothes...luckily I had some boots and under-armor up at camp from the fall. But I am excited for warm weather and to get back to my pool and get tan. :) My sister is coming out with me this summer as my other lifeguard which I am so excited about as well!
More news: So a few months ago, while on the road, I received an email from Axis asking me back for the next semester. Starting in the fall we are going to be having three teams and interns will stay not only for a semester but for an entire year. After a lot of prayer and seeking advice from my parents and friends I have decided to continue. I feel like God is telling me that He is not done with me yet and still has a ton to teach me. I was finally becoming comfortable with the presentations at the end of the semester and I plan on spending the summer working on them and studying more. I am excited to see what the next year brings! Thank you so much for your support and prayers throughout this semester!! keep checking back here for updates throughout the summer if you seem to like following my random ramblings about life and, now, about my summer job. More ramblings to come soon :)

My semester in @ 6 min