Taking my breath away

Camp is about to wrap up. We only have about three more groups left! Let me catch you us on stuff going on. My brother and sister are out here working :) I got a chance to pick them up from the airport and it has been so GREAT to have them here. I wish my other brother could have made it as well. But I love having them here.

I have mentioned before that we are going through Love Does and how awesome the staff has been this year. Last night was just another example. We had dinner down at the barn with the campers and some of the staff, including me, were sitting on the hitching posts for the horses hanging off them. One of the staff did a flip all the way around backwards and I decided to try it to. Mistake. I got around but didn't quite make it and fell hard on my back. I have not had the wind knocked out of me that hard since I was about 8 years old on the bumper cars at the board walk. It was very painful. Needless to say it took a while for me to be able to breathe, talk and then move.  

this is what it looked like....

The staff crowded around to make sure I was ok and one of the girls put here knees up behind me to hold me up while I attempted to relax and catch my breath. That support was so great! They all walked me back to the nurse and stayed with me until they knew it was ok. I had a car ready to take me to urgent care if needed and prayer was said over my back as soon as it happened.

It always humbles me to see how much people care for me. These people I just met a few months ago. And they are willing to drop everything to take me to urgent care if I need to go. (which I didn't, don't freak out mommy) I have always been stubborn especially when it comes to being hurt or sick. I try to act all tough and strong but sometimes I can't. Seeing my brother and sister's faces when I could not move, and the worry they had scared me. I have always been the big sister. I have always wanted to be strong for them and never to have them worry about me. Last night reminded me that I can be taken care of too. As much as I want to be strong...sometimes I just can't. 
I know I have written posts about strength before and I am seeing how God is using these lessons to show me, time and time again, that it is ok to be weak to rely on others. Because at times we cannot do it on our own. We have to use the people around us and that is why He puts those people in our lives. If we were meant to be alone we would be but we were meant for relationship and community and that is what our hearts yearn for. 
My back is doing better and I am grateful for the chance to relax today and grateful that I am not stubborn enough to listen to the voice of reason surrounding me telling me to rest instead of proving to myself I am ok. Gotta hate that :)

what do words even mean?

It is officially summer! We have 5 more weeks of camp and it is so weird! Young life was here for a month and they left on Sunday. It was sad to see them all leave. I really loved having the summer staff here this year. They were so much fun to be around. It feels like summer is just starting now and it's already halfway over. I must say it is bittersweet. The staff this summer has been phenomenal. We have gotten pretty close and it is a fun group of people!
As a staff we are going through the book Love Does by Bob Goff. (I mentioned this in the previous post) We have been having amazing discussions each week with the chapters. We read a chapter about words and how important words are to people. He told a story about how when he was growing up he was on a baseball team and was awful. One game he hit a home run and hit coach sent him a card at the end of the season saying how it was a great hit and he was a real ball player. Those words, he said, stuck with him.
I am learning more and more that I am like Peter in many ways. I have strongly identified with the story where Jesus calls him to walk on water and step out. Jesus called him "the rock" (no not like dwayne johnson) when Jesus knew Peter was going to deny him. Maybe, he was calling something out of Peter when he did that. I know for me if someone genuinely encourages me it makes me believe it, if only for a bit.
I can remember nice things that people have told me. I also remember the negative things. Sometimes the negative I remember even more. Its strange how much words can shape our lives. I also think that the words we say to ourselves are just as powerful. The things we tell ourselves over and over again become things that we believe. In the back of my head all mu life I have heard the words,"you are not good enough." After hearing it for so long...I started to believe it. Those words shaped how I viewed everything. t has been in the past few years I have been blessed with friends who have spoken encouragement into those lies and have helped me see that I am good enough. God speaks truth through His Word and through people around us. A simple, "God is going to do great things in your life." (by someone I really admire) has shaped how I feel about my future.
A simple encouraging word can shape a persons life forever. Who are you going to encourage today??

just do it

First week of campers here at camp this week. It's been a pretty hectic time! But all in all it has been good to finally get in the swing of things. The summer staff this year is pretty awesome I must say. Although, I am missing a few from last year. We, as a staff, are going through the book Love Does by Bob Goff. I highly recommend it!
Each chapter is a different story from his life with an amazing twist to it. One of the first chapters we read he talked about how love just does. (hence the title of the book) Love is an action, love is a verb. (cue in dc talk song here....) But sometimes in order to life a life of love we need to just do. In the introduction Donald Miller, who writes it, gives a really good picture of what Bob is going to portray in the rest of the book.
"...love does things. It writes a letter and gets on a plane. It orders pizza and jumps in a lake. It hugs and prays and cries and sings."
I love that! How many times have we just not done something because it scares us or it seems to crazy or to big or outside of ourselves?? Well, each chapter of this book tells a story of stepping outside of that and taking action and letting love do things. Loving is scary! Doing something for someone else with no motive...who does that anymore?!? Each story that we have read so far Bob is doing things. The first step is to just do it. To step out of that typical-ness or normal and comfortable and live a life of love. And not just live it but to live it in a way that it becomes a part of who we are.
We were all going out to do something one night and one of the summer staff wanted to sleep, so one of the girls turned to him and said, "When you are old and you look back on your life are you going to say, 'oh man, I really regret that time I didn't get enough sleep.'? No!" I liked that. I know there are times I wish I did more, I wish I helped out a certain person, got to know a classmate or co-worker better, or really took time to share my faith with someone else. So what is the answer to all that.... don't sit around and wish you did...just do it!

new adventure ahead

Hello! I am currently back at camp working. We have a group of women up here this weekend and the summer staff heads up next week and then we start summer! It snowed up here about 10 inches yesterday. I was not prepared for that. When I packed for the summer I did not think I would need my winter clothes...luckily I had some boots and under-armor up at camp from the fall. But I am excited for warm weather and to get back to my pool and get tan. :) My sister is coming out with me this summer as my other lifeguard which I am so excited about as well!
More news: So a few months ago, while on the road, I received an email from Axis asking me back for the next semester. Starting in the fall we are going to be having three teams and interns will stay not only for a semester but for an entire year. After a lot of prayer and seeking advice from my parents and friends I have decided to continue. I feel like God is telling me that He is not done with me yet and still has a ton to teach me. I was finally becoming comfortable with the presentations at the end of the semester and I plan on spending the summer working on them and studying more. I am excited to see what the next year brings! Thank you so much for your support and prayers throughout this semester!! keep checking back here for updates throughout the summer if you seem to like following my random ramblings about life and, now, about my summer job. More ramblings to come soon :)

My semester in @ 6 min

our last night...

End of the semester. We are currently in Portland, Oregon on our last night of our trip. We are at a host home and had a chance this afternoon to see a BEAUTIFUL waterfall!! It was fun! We have spent all day driving so it was nice to get out and explore. It has been a great semester! I have a video that I am going to post of my semester with some fun clips and pics. :) I will update in a few days after we get back to Colorado.
I have loved being a part of this amazing team of people and all the experiences we had together! God really worked wonders through each of us. I don't know where God will take each of us. Caleb is headed to grad school in the fall and Patrick will be with Axis of course, and Hayley decided to do another year of Axis. More updates later. Until then I am going to hang out with my team!

"Stop worrying about what tomorrow holds"

There are two different types of worry. Worry that leads you towards action and resolving that worry and toxic worry that can paralyze you. Too much worry can hinder you from doing things well also. A few weeks ago I decided to write down everything that has been worrying me. I was seeing that I was avoiding God and working through some things. When that happens I get stressed and worn down so I took some time alone on one of our days off in FL and started to try and work through some of the things God was putting on my heart.
So I wrote down everything I was stressed or worried about. I started out with some obvious things (finding a job and paying off loans) but the more time I took I realized I was worried about a lot more. After writing them all down I sat and looked through everything I had written down and prayed through each one. I had no idea how to start getting over those worries so I just prayed that God would show me.
Looking back on my life I can see that God answers things in ways that I never thought. At our host home the other night we were asked, by their small group bible study, how we knew we wanted to do something like Axis. I was reminded of a few times I prayed to God to make me vulnerable, while at FLI, and then senior year in college I prayed for Him to break me. He did both. I learned through friendship and heartbreak how to be vulnerable and not close my heart to the people around me. During senior year I was broken to the core as He built me back up again. In the same way I prayed these worries to Him. It didn't take much time for God to start eliminating them...one by one. In the most random of situations He was showing me, "You don't need to worry about this. I've got it."
It is amazing how He can show Himself in the strangest of times by the most random people. But it is just a reminder of how He is always there with us no matter our situations or how stressed or worried we seem to be.
I guess that is my rant for now. Speaking at a high school tomorrow and friday then a local church on Sunday for our second family presentation. A busy few days but excited to be with students again!! But until later I am about to watch Harry Potter with my host family. :)