thankful for: the Christian family

Ever have one of those moments where you meet someone for the first time and you already seem to have some connection like you have known each other forever!? I used to think it was so rare and then I started traveling with Axis. All over the country I would meet people who shared my love of Christ and the gospel and because that makes up so much of who we are...we connected. We have this bond that will never be broken. I have family all over the country now that I never knew I had! It is amazing the impact the Christian community has.
Recently, I have been reminded of that power both with strangers and old friends I have not talked to in a while.
I 'concentrated' in Youth Ministry while in college. I wish I could say minor but it was not an option as a minor at my university so I just took as many classes as I could. One of my favorite classes was about small groups and it was a small class. There were about 9 of us plus the professor. We all got pretty close in the course of the semester. The other day I got a message from one of the girls and we all started catching up and sending prayer requests and encouragement to each other. It was so fun to see us all come together after almost 3 years!

Last week, I was sitting in Starbucks going through Galatians before my Bible study. As I was packing up, the man next to me took off his headphones and asked what church I attended. I was surprised by the question but started talking to him for a bit about church and life. He saw the book I was reading and asked what I was studying for. It was so incredible to make a connection with a brother in a coffee shop. You never know where you will meet new family!

Tonight, I was meeting with a new group that just arrived at camp. One of my summer staff girls was there with her dad. Her dad gave me a hug and saw the walking boot on my foot. He started asking about it and they ended up praying for healing for my foot. He continued to encourage me with scripture and spoke truth into my life. I have only met this man one other time and his heart for God was so inspiring!

No matter where we are there is family everywhere. We may not ever meet them or we may be best friends and live in community together. Either way you have that lifelong connection being one in Christ.  I am so thankful for this family who share such a strong connection with. They are incredible!

thankful for: growing

Recently a friend of mine, while traveling, stayed at my parents house and was able to bring back a few books for me when he returned. One of those books was my old diary. Now I journal, but I used to have a Hello Kitty diary growing up.

(believe me there is a difference!) I got it for my seventh birthday and used it all the way up through high school. My last entry is the day before I graduated. It was hard to keep up with when I was younger but I was determined to finish it!
The reason I asked for it back out in Colorado was because I wrote a bucket list in it and I wanted to see what I wanted to do with my life when I was 15 years old. I continued to read through it and felt embarrassed by some of the thing I wrote. I was quite dramatic as a teenager. At the moment whatever problem I was going through seemed to be the end of the world! Which for me in my little high school/middle school world...it was. I look back on those times now and laugh at myself. I seemed to write down every meticulous thing I ever did. One Saturday I spent "cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning"...thank you younger Kaitlin. That was fascinating! I realize things in life change and I have grown a lot since I was in high school.
Through the pages I can see myself in my room writing and being frustrated, hurt, mad or excited. I remember those moments that affected me so much and smile at some of my dramatic flair. I used to want to journal and one day show my daughter my old journals and let her read them and learn from them. Re-reading that diary made me realize I do not think I will do that anymore. At least not for that book. Those pages are coated with lost friendships, broken dreams, fights with parents, school woes and crushes that came and went. Although I went to church growing up I never knew how to live out the Christian life. I never knew what that looked like. So, that is what I am thankful for. I am thankful for that book. I am thankful for those memories, although painful at the time brought me here. I am thankful for how much I have grown since high school. There are times I wish I could go back. Ever have that feeling? I wish I could go back to middle school where the most pressing thing were report cards and if you still have friends. Life was smaller then. I still struggle with friendships but luckily no more report cards. :)
God still was able to see me where I am today when I was only a teenager. I am so glad he was willing to put up with all of that to bring me here. I bet the journal I am writing in now I will find 10 years from now and look back and laugh at myself. I will remember what I am going through and smile and thank God to where He has brought me since now. I hope I can look back. I want to know I am continually growing, even when it is painful and I have no idea what is next.
I learned a lot from my old diary. I even got to cross off three things off my bucket list!

thankful for: swings

Ever have one activity that just takes you back to your childhood??
Mine are swings. I have always loved swings! I do not know why but I always felt so free every time I would kick off that first time knowing I could go higher and higher if I just pumped my legs. There is not a care in the world when you are on a swing. You can go as high as you want or as slow as you want to.
My favorite ride at amusement parks were the swings as well. Roller coasters always scared me but being in a little bucket of a seat only held up by chains as you swung higher and higher never seemed to. I would always just tip my head back and put my arms out and close my eyes and just for a moment I would pretend I was flying.

Swings have always been associated with happiness for me. Pure, unfiltered joy. I recall memories with swings at the beach with my family, at playgrounds with friends having good conversations while swaying back and forth, and memories of our old play-set in my backyard that my dad built us. Swings are always moving. I guess you can say I can relate to that. I am constantly moving. If I sit still for too long I feel like I am going to explode! After traveling with Axis for a year and a half you would think I would like that I am in one place for a while. As much as I love camp I am starting to go stir crazy. I do not think we were made to stay still. We were created to evolve and change. Although this is a very post modern idea, it sometimes seems that the only constant in life is change. I never want to feel stuck, like I am not moving forward or growing. That is right as you just sit in a swing. You cannot sit in a swing without moving. I think it is impossible. It is like eating one potato chip. I dare you to do it! It is hard. You cannot live a life without movement.

It seems that when I start to get comfortable I start to move again. More often than not, there is something pushing me toward movement again. There are times I jump at the chance to move with it and others I am digging my heels in the ground gripping for the swing to stop. God seems to like to throw a twist in every now and again. Yes, currently I am physically in one place for more than 2 days. Yes, that is weird for me because I do not see myself leaving any time soon. Emotionally and spiritually God has been pulling me back on a giant swing. This time I seem to be resisting. I am comfortable with swaying back and forth with my feet on the ground but He wants to send me flying forward to where I can lean my head back, close my eyes and stretch out my arms.

So I am thankful for swings that remind me of childhood, joy and the feeling of flying! 

thankful for: athletics

I have a boot on my foot. It is quite uncomfortable and it hinders me from keeping up with my 'east coast pace.' I have never been a fan of running until recently. All my life being involved in sports it was used as a form of punishment so I have always dreaded it. Now that I am not able to run I miss it. It has become a form of therapy and a way to release stress. While traveling I would love to break out in the cool crisp air on a fall day and pound off each stress as my feet hit the ground. Yesterday I was reminded of the amazing impact being a part of sports and athletics has had on my life.

I watched as students ran, pushed, lifted and squatted as they worked their bodies to the max at an FCA event. I smiled and cheered as I hobbled along side them as they ran up and down an inside turf field. Between each event these student leaders huddled together in prayer, asking God to give them strength and encouraging each other through each task. After 8 physically draining competitions each team was worn out. We could all see it on their faces. They were physically spent but their minds were still going. One of the FCA leaders got up and started to explain their last task. Before she started she asked the crowd of sweaty students who their I.D was. They responded "only J.C." (Jesus Christ) She yelled in a louder voice and asked how they competed. The students enthusiasm was present through their exhaustion and they yelled back "1 on 1!" This was their chance to have a one-on-one. This final activity was a 1 mile run around the outside of the building. She explained that this was their time of worship. This mile could be taken as fast or slow as you want it and just pray and talk to God. She talked about praying for an upcoming season, difficulties at home or anything they wanted to. With each step they were to just spend time with the Creator who gave them this ability through sports.

I was helping with the clean-up as the students started their mile and made it outside as the first ones crossed the finish line. There was cheering all around as each student passed through and finished. Before I knew it there was hugging, high fives and more and more clapping. I saw each of these students completely spent but going back for their teammates to finish with them. There was one girl who was struggling to finish and one of her leaders went back out to find her. As they crossed the finish line the entire group burst into cheering. I watched as these leaders were hugging and some crying but all of them were encouraging each other. As we headed inside I was walking with one of the leaders and the girl who finished at the end ran up and gave her a hug and I heard her say, "Thank you for coming back for me." I could hear her emotion in her voice and knew that it meant so much to her.

My heart was soaring as I packed up at the end of the night. It was such a great time hanging out with these students who are part of leadership teams at their schools. They can take what they learned yesterday back to every part of their lives. In the end, the point of the event was to keep focus on God through it all even in the midst of intense competition.

That is what being an athlete is about. To be able to leave it all on the field, mat, or court when you finish. But, the ability to glorify God through it all is what separates the Christian athletes. We have one big cheerleader that will never get quiet. He is not only at every game but a every practice, every scrimmage, every pre-season workout. He is glorified by us realizing that He gave us this ability and by giving it back to Him is the biggest blessing of all. Because at the end of the day when we are extremely spent and can't take another step He comes back for us and we get to finish the race together.

thankfulness

A few years ago, during the month of November I did a post every so often of things I was thankful for. Although always, at this time of year, I am reminded I should be thankful every day. I am going to start that up again.

I started a workout plan back in the summer. It was hard to keep up with it with my foot injured but I tried as best I could. This fall I started to get more into it. The trainers are really awesome and the community they have built is incredible! I have really enjoyed it so far. I must admit it is hard to follow some of the nutrition plans when we have groups every weekend and the food provided is great but not what I need.

Sidetracked...anyways a few weeks ago, along with a weekly workout plan they put other challenges in. Not just working out but afternoon/evening challenges. They encourage their community to love who they are and what they do. One challenge was to write down, every hour throughout the day, something you are thankful/grateful for. I took that challenge!! I had a notebook on my desk and set an alarm on my phone for every hour. Every time the alarm went off I wrote down something that I was thankful for. As the day progressed I noticed something...I was in such a great mood! I was so happy and as I would write something down I would pray thanking God so much for putting that in my life. It was such a great day! I started looking forward to that bell to be able to turn and pray for that thing that God had blessed me with.

It is sad that it took a random workout plan for me to see how many things I need to be grateful for in my life. I have an amazing family, pretty fun place to work & live, incredible friends that keep me grounded and laughing, a church I am able to get involved with, ability to move and use my body for sports or even work and I could go on and on. I have started taking the time to be more grateful. Starting off every prayer with just thanksgiving and letting God's blessings wash over and humble me.

So although this is a theme around this time of year I am going to hitch myself on the bandwagon and join in on sharing a few things, this month, on what I am thankful for. Maybe I will keep it going all year....

my story

Sitting around the table we laugh, eat and pray. We are now starting to share stories. Not just any stories but our own stories. The story of our journey that brought us to Christ and how He has carried us since. I look at the women around the table and realize how different we all are but the thing that brought us together in the first place was Christ.
As we have gone through Galatians as a small group we have seen the impact vulnerability has in community. In result of that, each week a few people have started sharing their personal testimonies. I sit there and watch their faces and hear their journeys. We listen to their trials and our hearts ache and we see God's love and redemption through each praise. Now their stores are mine, their struggles are my struggles, and their joys are my joys. We are a community and we are able to lift each other up and love each other more.
Tonight my story will become theirs. I am nervous because I have never shared my testimony before in full. I have told stories and experiences but never the whole thing. I like to think of it more as a story than anything else. God is sharing a bit of His grander story through me. Through all the things I am able to do, all the lives I can be a part of and through all the lessons I have learned. We make such an impact to the people around us. Whether we are in an office or out in the world sharing the gospel, God has a way to make each of us make a huge impact.
Bob Goff writes, "I used to be afraid that if I was authentic I might take a hit, but now I know that being real means I will take a hit."
I have talked about identity and struggling with being myself. Recently I am figuring out more of who that person looks like. I am trying to learn to be comfortable in my own skin and not worry about how others perceive me. I am learning to be vulnerable and to be real. My whole life I have hidden behind walls for fear of getting hurt but God calls us to live a life of reckless abandon and to love with all we are. That means being vulnerable and that means getting hurt. In the end, I believe it will be worth it and I will learn something through the pain. Until then, I plan on loving hard and loving extravagantly even if it doesn't make sense. I plan on being real and being myself even if people do not get it.
Will you?

"To love at all is to be vulnerable." -C.S. Lewis

journeys and lessons

Ever have one of those times where God is teaching you something and it seems that that thing just seems to appear over and over again?? For instance, the pastor preaches about it on Sunday, you meet a friend and they mention something similar, and your Bible study is going through the same exact thing. Or you even meet someone for the first time and then you realize you see them everywhere! There is actually a name for it. It is called the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon, this is when you learn something for the first time and then you end up hearing about it or seeing it quite often after that. If you are learning this fun fact for the first time I bet you will hear it in conversation more frequently now. :) 
I have been reading through the Bible from cover to cover. I started in May hoping to finish at the end of the summer but I overestimated some of the books. Leviticus...was very long. But I am working my way through the prophets now and I have really enjoyed it. My goal now is to read through the entire Bible before the new year! I have loved reading the story of Israel. I have seen how much I identify with the people of Israel. God calls them out of a place of slavery and promises to love and protect them. They do okay for a bit but then they get a little self reliant believe that they could do things on their own. They start to fumble and forget God and then they get captured again or get scared that they would be killed and they cry out to God and ask for forgiveness. The amazing thing about this story is that our God is an amazing and gracious God who loves us and forgives us. I see myself in this story because I do that too. I see myself as a lost Israelite not sure where to go and scared and God comes in and saves me. I get comfortable there and start thinking that I am okay to be on my own. So, I try it. I try to do my own thing and I try to make my own plan but I sink. I forget that I need God in my life and when I go back to Him, He is gracious enough to welcome me back into His arms and forgives me. I know I will fumble and fail but knowing that God is on the other side ready to love me makes me believe I can get through anything!